But, why we shall renounce -
the final answer of this question still didn't arrive in the mind.
The Scriptures say -
it is impossible to be Free without Renunciation;
anything we shall not renounce,
will verily keep us attached;
by Renunciation we will be Free.
That we shall obtain Freedom -
we do not have the power to say so.
Because we are not looking for Freedom;
indeed, we have a terrible tendency towards dependence within us;
indeed, we have become dependent on this World by choice - quite happily;
we are dependent on the silverware utensils,
we are also dependent on the servant;
we are dependent on what people say,
on what they do (their customs),
on myriad tendencies and inclinations;
indeed,
it is in vain to say this to such a big-time born-dependent slave of slaves that,
'you stand to benefit from Freedom'.
It is in vain to entice with Freedom someone who is attached naturally, and by choice.
Effectively, to her/him Freedom is emptiness, extinction, desert.
The Freedom where none of her/his house, property, utensils and cutlery exists;
where everything (s)he considered her/his sole refuge -
all of that has gone extinct;
that Freedom - to her/him - is sheer Terror, utter Loss.
That we shall renounce -
if that renunciation is in emptiness
then that renunciation will turn out to be utter Loss.
Even a single penny -
to renounce it into that field of emptiness -
is totally unbearable for us.
But renunciation is not in emptiness.
Yad Yad Karma Prakurviita Tadbrahmani Samarpayet.2
Whatever you do,
surrender all of that unto Brahman3.
Your family,
your dear ones,
all that you have -
surrender them unto Him;
this renunciation - verily - is renunciation into Fullness.
Whatever I renounce into Fullness,
I only receive it as Truth, Fully -
I've said this before.
But the matter does not end right here.
No discourse can end at the discussion of mere benefits;
what shall happen with those benefits -
this question remains.
What shall happen if we become Free,
what shall happen if we receive Fullness?
When I give money to a child, (s)he may ask: what shall happen with this money?
If I respond: you will go to market;
even then the question is: what shall happen by going to market?
You will buy marionettes.
What shall happen by buying marionettes?
You will play.
What shall happen by playing?
Then, one answer ends all questions -
you will be joyful.
What shall happen by being joyful -
this question no one ever asks from their heart.
The joy that comes from the Final Fulfillment of wishes -
it is in that joy that all questions and all demands finally dissolve themselves.
The Final Fulfillment of all wishes is in Love4.
In Love -
why, what shall happen -
these questions cannot exist.
Love is Her Own Explanation, Her Own Goal.
If you say,
by renunciation you will receive freedom from the renounced object -
that does not appeal to our mind.
If you say,
by renunciation you will receive the renounced object more fully -
then also our mind does not completely respond to that.
However, if you say,
by renunciation can be obtained Love -
then the mind cannot speak a single word anymore;
if it hears this correctly and attentively,
then it will have to speak up -
'oh that shall save me'.
There is a beautiful relationship between Renunciation and Love;
the relationship is such that,
who is before and who is after -
even to decide that is very difficult.
Sans Love, Renunciation is impossible;
and sans Renunciation, Love cannot be.
Whatever is snatched from us out of sheer necessity
or out of fear of oppression -
that verily is not renunciation;
when we give something away in Love,
we give it completely, we keep none of it anymore;
we consider Giving successful in that give-away.
But this Love,
even this Love finally turns Herself over to us -
in the practice of Renunciation.
The person who only draws things to herself/himself
all the time -
who is busy puffing up her/his own vanity -
that selfish, that vain person
never sees the rise of Love in her/his mind;
the Sun of Love remains altogether covered by fog.
We will need to renounce the attachment of selfishness,
we will need to unknot the Gordian knot of vanity -
whatever we have spent our lives on to accumulate only,
we will need to sit every day to renounce that;
so that the renunciation gradually becomes easy -
so that the attraction of that object to us loosens every day.
Is it the case that
if we keep on doing like this,
we shall receive what is called Freedom?
Yes, you shall receive Freedom.
What shall we gain by receiving Freedom?
We shall gain what is the Final Goal of Freedom - that Love5.
Who is Love?
She, verily, is Love Who -
there is no need - and yet,
is renouncing everything,
for us.
She, verily, is the Essence of Love.
She is projecting Her power -
every moment - for us,
in the midst of this Universe;
the Whole Creation
is an Offering
by Her.
Aanandaaddhyeva Khalvimaani Bhuutaani Jaayante.6
It is verily from Bliss that all these are being Created;
nothing is happening out of necessity;
that Self-Born,
that Self-Emanating Love,
verily,
is the Root of All Creation.
Once we are fully connected
to this Essence of Love -
all our wishes will be completely fulfilled.
Full connection will necessitate that
we become like the One with whom connection will be established.
With Love -
it is by Love that connection will happen.
But,
Love is Free -
Love is Independent.
There is no other difference
between slavery and Love -
than the fact that slavery is attached,
and Love is Free.
Love is Herself conclusively established
by Her Own Rules alone -
She does not supply any explanation
about anything to anyone
above Herself.
Therefore,
to merge with the Essence of Love
we will need to be completely Free.
No one
other than (S)He Who is Free
can maintain a give-and-take relationship
with Another Who is also Free.
We have had this conversation with Him;
He has told us -
you come to Me after receiving Freedom;
the person who is a slave -
for him/her My front room is open;
but (s)he will not be able to enter My inner sanctuary.
From time to time, out of eagerness of mind -
we rush towards the door of that inner sanctuary of His;
but the doorkeeper sends us back again and again.
He says,
where is your Letter of Invitation!
Hunting for that Letter,
I notice that
whatever letters of invitation I have -
they are invitation for fame and invitation for money,
not Invitation for Nectar.
I needed to come back again and again -
again and again!
There is no way to elude the ticket-examiner.
We have bought the ticket for whichever station -
we will need to get down at that station only.
We have bought ticket for sundry destinations on this World-track -
with long-term practice, and accumulation of much suffering;
that ticket shall not do for another track.
From now on,
every day we shall need to collect money for yet another track.
From now on,
whatever we will need to collect, and whatever we will need to renounce -
they are only for That Love.
How shall we collect?
Within this everyday prayer of ours,
we are accumulating little by little.
In this morning,
to see my own consciousness -
intimately surrounded by the Essence of That Consciousness,
even for a moment
I am having to renounce all my coverings;
I am having to surrender myself to Him like a newborn babe -
without any covering;
it is by these
that day by day
little by little
I shall accumulate.
Bliss with happiness,
Love with love -
these minglings
are verily becoming more-or-less easy
in a gradual way.
How shall we renounce?
Within this World,
please start at least one Welfare Sacrifice.
For That Welfare Sacrifice,
if you keep open even a very small door of your storeroom,
then you shall see -
today, as the door is creaking loudly at a small tug,
the door that has not been opened in years -
the door in whose rusty locks no keys are turning fully,
gradually,
opening that door will turn out to be like a very small thing;
in an Auspicious Occasion,
Renunciation having started shall gradually spread out more and more.
We give Everything to the World -
day and night;
please give something to God -
every day,
at least once
give alms of a handful;
that Desireless Destitute with His Alms-Bowl in hand,
smilingly
every day,
is coming to our doors -
and returning every day.
If we practise
Giving Him alms of a handful
then that Giving
shall verily become more than all that we have.
Gradually,
that shall not fit in our palms anymore;
gradually,
we shall not be able to keep anything in our hands anymore.
But,
however much we shall Give Him,
that much we shall have to Give Secretly -
for that it will not do to ask for even a tiny amount of fame from anyone.
The reason is,
giving after showing off to people -
is like
giving in one way,
and then stealing in another.
That Great Beggar -
however much we shall Give Him - even if a tiny amount,
we need to Give It Completely.
It shall not do
to keep Its accounts;
it shall not do
to ask for a receipt.
In the day,
may at least one of our givings
be a Complete Giving like this;
may That Giving
be a Complete Renunciation unto That Essence of Completeness,
and in this World, in this small Affair -
may every day
an interval open up to allow a Secret Rendezvous
between me, alone,
and Only Him.
28 Agrahāyaṇa 1315
(December 13, 1908)
Bengali original: Part 1, Part 2.