The person
who
does not save
more
than the needs
of a single day -
our ancient Samhitaas1
have praised
only that twice-born2
among
householders.
Because,
once we start to save -
gradually
we end up
being
saving machines;
then
our saving
goes
much further
beyond
necessity;
moreover,
it starts to
deprive
and
distress
the needs.
With respect to
spiritual saving as well,
it is not that
this observation
is not valid.
If we consider
some good deed
as
we are saving
that
for
obtaining some particular fruit
in Future,
then
it is that act of saving
that
traps us;
with respect to that
we end up being
like a miser,
with respect to that
our naturalness completely goes away;
in every discussion
we only look at the interest,
we keep counting our profits.
In such a state,
good deeds
keep starving our Joy,
and
think -
by starving,
those deeds
are increasing.
Thus,
even in the field of
spiritual practice,
many misers
keep accumulating
the food
while
destroying the body.
In spiritual housekeeping
we shall not think today
for tomorrow.
If we do that,
then
we shall only
deprive
today's gains.
We shall not think about
savings
at all -
we only know
expenses.
Our everyday worship -
may That Worship
Be
our every day's
endless
material.
We shall not think
from That
we shall obtain Peace,
we shall obtain Good Deeds,
in Future
at some time
we shall obtain Salvation,
or something else.
Whichever
Has Been Collected -
They All, verily, Need to be Finished
by Giving Him -
hand to hand -
Pouring All Out;
it is verily Him alone,
in giving all to Whom,
That Giving Ends.
If we think
Worshipping Him
Is Accumulating
Virtue for me,
then
all of the Worship
Is Not Given
to God;
much of That
gets saved
only for
Virtue.
If I start thinking,
the God's Work I'm doing -
from That
People's Welfare
will come,
then
the excitement of Doing Good to People
gradually keeps increasing,
dwarfing the
Reception of God's Grace.
In spiritual matters,
it is verily through this
hole of sin
that
Worldliness that is
more violent
than the
Worldliness
of
worldly affairs
gets entrance.
It is verily from there
that
anger, hatred, calumny, oppression3 - the nocturnal beasts
in the name of Religion
come out
of their
nooks and crevices;
in the War
between opinions
and counter-opinions
the Whole World
gets completely
bloodied.
Then,
pushing God behind -
we keep moving forward.
We shall do Good,
we shall do Welfare,
we shall evangelize God -
these, verily, are the points
that
gradually
keep increasing
in a horrible way;
that God Shall Do those things
we do not keep in mind
anymore.
Then,
it is verily the
servants of God
who stand
by blocking
God's Path;
then,
where Is Peace,
where Is Welfare,
where Is Virtue.
That is why,
from time to time
I fear -
perhaps,
I, too -
in the morning,
gradually
having discarded God -
have opened
a business
of
talking
about God.
How you people
shall understand,
what you people
shall like,
how
my words
shall become
beneficial -
lest this thought, gradually
takes me over.
The result of that
shall be this:
in the pretext
of worship,
something shall keep being accumulated
on which
twelve annas of my mind
shall dwell;
if someone says
'Your words are not being understood clearly'
or
'You have not been able to speak in a well-arranged manner',
then I shall become angry.
Not just that;
from my words,
other people
shall benefit -
if this thought
becomes heavier,
then
the desire to commit oppression
on other people
starts pressing my neck.
If I see
that
the result is not happening
as per my wishes,
then
the desire
to oppress4 others
comes over me;
then -
not my own powers and rights -
but
verily,
others' intellect and nature -
a desire
to fie on them
gets engendered.
Then,
I cannot say anymore
with mind,
with Piety,
that -
May God, in connection with His/Her Manifold Powers,
in diverse ways,
Do Good
to Diverse People.
Then
our intolerant enthusiasm
keeps saying only this,
that
may only my powers,
only my words,
only my ways
force
the people in This World
to
only
my opinion -
and thus,
do good to them.
That is why,
from this everyday worship of ours -
I'm saving words up
little by little
this way -
it is verily this that I fear.
May these words not be my burden,
not be my attachment,
not be a roadblock of my path.
Considering
these words
Completely Dedicated
to Your Worship,
may I not keep
any accounts of them
in my own ledger5.
If they bear
any fruit,
then
You Please Bring them to fruition,
may it6 be born
by severing
the umbilical cord
of attachment of mine.
Oh Silent One,
this morning worship -
its all words -
You Please Accept them,
and
only thereby,
Make them successful;
from the stem of my thorny ego,
Please Extricate it7 Out completely.
10 Paush 1315
(December 24, 1908)
Bengali original: http://www.tagoreweb.in/Render/ShowContent.aspx?ct=Essays&bi=72EE92F5-BE50-4057-6E6E-0F7410664DA3&ti=72EE92F5-BE50-43F7-1E6E-0F7410664DA3&ch=c