Yesterday night
this song was playing in my mind:
Oh Lord, in the Path of Love, Please Break Down all barriers.
Please Do Not Keep anything in the middle,
Please Do Not Stay Away.
In loneliness,
Among people -
In the inside
and the outside -
I shall always see You;
Please Break Down all barriers.1
But,
what kind of Prayer is this!
With Whom is This Love?
How has a human being imagined these words,
and
uttered in his mouth
that
with the Lord of the Universe -
with the Lord of the World,
he shall be in Love?
How much
The Universe
and
The World
Mean,
and compared to that
how small
a human being is -
if we think that,
then
no words
escape our mouth.
In the midst of all people
I'm small,
my happiness and misery
are so trifling.
In the midst of the Solar System,
that human being
is insignificant -
like
a fistful of sand;
and,
in the midst of
all constellations
the territory
of this solar system
is so small
that
with math, its calculation is nearly impossible.
All those uncountable, unfamiliar realms
and beyond -
their inhabitants, verily, in this moment
in the Great Kingdom
of That Lord of the Universe,
are carrying
their unthinkable lives' affairs.
There are constellations
that
have been immersed
in the depths of Endless Sky,
whose light -
traveling untiringly2
since ages and eons past,
even today
has not come into
and
entered
the field of vision
of our telescopes.
All those unknown, invisible realms, too -
verily, every moment,
have been
totally dependent
upon the Great Power
of That Great Being;
we don't know
any of that.
Such Is
That Unthinkable, Ultimate Lord
of the Cosmic Egg;
it is verily with Him,
that this speck of specks,
this atom of atoms
says -
"I shall engage in Love"!
That is to say,
he shall go to His Side,
and sit on His Royal Throne!
In the Infinite Sky,
from one star to another
the Sacrificial Fire
of His Sacrifice for the Whole Universe
Is Ablaze
since ages and eons;
standing at one end
of the vast multitude
of That Sacrificial Field,
on the power of which title
am I
asking
the doorkeeper,
"A seat on one bed
of the Lord of This Sacrifice
is to be given to
me"!
For growing big,
the desire of human beings
has no end3,
this
is a known fact.
I have heard
that
Alexander4 had spoken thus:
conquering one World,
he was not
feeling happiness;
were there another World,
he would have gone out
on a mission
to conquer.
The person
who cannot feed himself/herself
twice a day -
even that person
dreams of
Kubera's5 Treasures.
That human desire
does not consider
any imagination
to be impossible,
there are many instances6
of that.
That human beings
want
to be
in Love
with the Lord of This Universe -
is this, too, an ultimate madness
of that excessive desire
of
his/hers?
Is
this, too, an untamed sign
of
his/her ego?
But,
there verily is
no sign of ego
in the midst of this.
(S)He Who Has Gone mad
for His Love -
(S)He verily Makes Himself/Herself destitute,
(S)He verily Stands at the back of all
and
(S)He verily Is Saved -
even by
receiving
the Dust of the Feet
of Those
Who Are
Courtiers
of the Court
of God's Love.
(S)He Is Not Hankering
After any Powers,
any Riches;
(S)He Has verily Prepared
for renouncing
all.
That is
precisely why
in the midst of This
Universal Creation -
This, verily, Seems
the most strange
among all,
to me, that
human beings
desire
His Love,
and
among all loves -
desire verily That
as the Greatest Truth -
as the Greatest Gain.
Why do they
desire
That?
For,
human beings, verily,
have gotten
the right.
He Who Has
Engendered This Demand
for Love -
it is verily
with Him
that This Love
Exists;
in this,
how can there be
any fear,
any shame,
anymore?
That He Has
Made me
A Special 'I' -
that He Has
Made me
independent
of the Whole World -
it is verily here
that
the Biggest
among all demands
of mine
Reigns -
A Demand
That Is Bigger
than
all Suns,
Moons,
and Stars.
Everywhere
there exists
the gravitational pull
of This Universe;
upon This Independence
of mine,
It Has no pull.
Were there a pull,
then
it would verily
have crushed It
and
made It equal
to a heap
of dust.
The Pressure
of This Huge Universe
Is absent
from the top
of this little 'I';
that is precisely why
this 'I'
is able to preserve
its own pride,
and
is able to walk
nicely,
keeping its head straight.
In the Puranas7,
it is said
that
Kashii8
is outside
the Whole Earth.
Effectively, I verily Am
That Kashii.
I -
staying in the midst of This World,
Am outside
the Whole World.
That is precisely why
with the World,
if we weigh ourselves,
and
call ourselves
small,
that
shall not do.
With That World,
verily,
I'm not comparable.
I, verily, Am a Special I.
In I,
He Has no Rules;
in I,
He Has a Special Joy.
It is
upon That Joy
that I Exist,
I do not exist
upon
the Rules
of This Universe;
this is exactly why
the Affair
of This I
is totally outré.
This is precisely why,
looking verily
towards This
Very Strange I,
Upanishads
Have Said:
Dvaa Suparnaa Sayujaa Sakhaayaa Samaanam Vriksham Parishasvajaate9.
They
Have Said:
This I,
and He -
like
two birds
on a branch
of the same tree -
two friends
are sitting
right next to each other.
In the Kingdom
of His
Universe,
I have to
pay taxes;
of This Land and Water,
of This Air and Sky,
there are
many kinds
of taxes;
all of them,
verily,
I have to pay
to the last penny;
where
there is
some debt,
it is verily there
that my life-breath,
as it were,
gets extinguished.
But,
this little 'I' of mine -
is totally revenue-free;
for there,
verily,
Is the Temple
of My Friend;
with I,
His Covenant
Is This:
'Willingly,
whatever You Shall Give me,
I shall verily accept those;
even if
You
do not give,
still
I shall not
deprive You
of
what I
was supposed to give.'
Were it not
like this,
then
being the Lone King
of His Universal Kingdom,
what joy
Would He Have Had?
He Who Has
No Equal -
anywhere,
how frighteningly lonely
He Must Be,
how incessantly lonely!
Willingly -
only out of the Power of Love,
This Sovereignty
He Has Renounced
in
one place.
In the arbor
of this little 'I'
of mine,
He Has
Descended,
in a Special Way;
He Has Turned Himself
Over,
by being
A Friend.
He
Has Said:
'With My Sun
and Moon,
you shall not have to compare
your own price.
For,
your price
is not by weight.
Your price
is in the midst of
My Joy -
it is verily because
there is
A Special Love
of Mine
with you alone,
that
you
have become
you.'
It is precisely here
that
I have
so much pride
that
even Him,
I can disregard.
I can say,
'I don't want you.'
If I
tell that
to
His Earth
and Water,
they don't
tolerate -
they immediately
come
to beat
me up.
But,
when I
tell Him -
'I don't want You,
I want money,
I want fame' -
He Says: 'Alright'.
Saying
so,
He Gets
silent,
Moves
somewhere
else,
and
Keeps sitting
there.
On this side,
sometime -
at one point
I wake up
to the fact
that
the Solitary Abode
of my Soul -
the Key to That
Is not
in the hands
of
my treasurer;
money and wealth,
verily,
do not
reach there,
in any way.
There is
always
a gap.
That Solitary Room
of there -
sans Another Great
Lone One
of the World -
no one else
can fill -
in any way.
The Day
I shall be
able to
say:
'I have no use with money,
I have no use with fame,
I have no use with anything else,
You Please Come',
the Day
I shall be
able to
say:
'Bereft of
the Sun
and
the Moon,
in This
Lone Room
of mine,
You are mine,
and
I am Yours',
on That Day
The Groom
Shall Come,
and
Shall Sit
on my bed;
on That Day,
the 'I' of mine
Shall Be
successful.
On That Day,
This One Strange Affair
That Shall Happen,
Is -
the more
I shall know
myself
as poor,
the more
I shall understand
His Love
as Big.
In The Experience
of Godliness
of His Love,
I shall know
His Love alone
as Endless;
I shall not
stand -
magnifying myself.
If I
gain Knowledge,
I feel pride
as the Knowledgeable One;
but,
if I
gain Love,
even if I
know myself
as insignificant,
I feel joy.
The more deeply
a vessel
gets empty,
when being filled
with
the Essence
of Nectar -
the more fully
it
gets filled.
This is why,
when I
gain Love,
then
I have
no desire
at all
to know
myself
as big;
on the contrary,
my own
extreme penury
gives
extreme happiness
to myself;
then,
I understand
the Utility
of a Huge Conflict
in the midst of
His Play,
and
acknowledging
That Conflict,
I can say
with Joy
that,
in the World -
however small
I may be,
however poor,
however weak,
in the I-Abode
of my own -
with His Love,
I'm Filled
even as much -
I'm Gratified
even as much.
It is precisely
because
I'm poor
in endless ways,
and
I'm weak
in endless ways,
that
I Have Become
Blessed
by His
Endless Love.
17 Paush 1315
(December 31, 1908)
Bengali original: http://www.tagoreweb.in/Render/ShowContent.aspx?ct=Essays&bi=72EE92F5-BE50-4057-6E6E-0F7410664DA3&ti=72EE92F5-BE50-4717-FE6E-0F7410664DA3&ch=1