Upanishads are a huge tree
for God-Realization
in India.
They are not only
beautiful, green, and shady -
but they are also big,
and they are difficult.
Within them,
not only is the Abundance of Realization luxuriated,
but also is the harshness of spiritual austerities gone aloft.
Amidst that
sky-piercing, very hard, stoicism -
there is a sweet flower blossomed -
its fragrance
has made us
restless.
That flower
is that prayer hymn
uttered by Maitreyii1.
When Yajnavalkya2
at the point of leaving home,
was ready to bequeath
all his property
to his two wives -
Maitreyii asked,
ok, can you tell me
whether with these properties
I shall become immortal?
Yajnavalkya replied,
no, that shall not happen,
but like the life of a materialist,
your life shall become like that.
Like the worldly people
with their houses, pets, domesticated animals,
food and drink, dresses and costumes -
spend their days at ease,
like that
you guys3 shall be able to spend your days.
Maitreyii then instantly replied:
Yenaaham Naamritaa Syaam Kimaham Tena Kuryaam!4
By which
I shall not become immortal,
what shall I do with that!
This, verily, is not an utterance of harsh Knowledge -
She did not speak these words
by achieving discrimination between
what is Real and what is Unreal
in the practice of thought-control, in the practice of meditation.
In Her Mind
there was a touchstone
on which
rubbing all the materials in this World
just once,
She Spoke Up: 'What I want is verily not these.'
In the Upanishads,
in the midst of all male ascetics' sayings -
solemn from Knowledge,
this only one ardent sentence
has sounded
in only one female voice,
and that sound
has not melted away.
That sound,
in the midst of their5 thunder-clapping, calm voice -
has kept awake
a glorious tearful sweetness.
The male that resides in human beings -
in the Upanishads
in sundry sides, in sundry ways
we had obtained the encounter of only that.
It is at that time
that
suddenly in one fringe we saw -
the female that resides in human beings;
she, too, is standing with beauty radiating from her.
In our inner nature too,
there is a Female.
We bring all our savings to Her.
We bring riches,
and say: take this.
We bring fame,
and say: you store this.
Our Male -
for His Whole Life,
with utmost labor -
from various sides,
is bringing
various stuff;
what He is bringing,
there is no estimate of that;
He is telling the Female:
with these,
you make a household,
you do the housewifery well, in an orderly manner;
with these,
you live in happiness.
Our inner female ascetic,
even now,
is not able to clearly say:
all these will not give any fruit to me.
She is thinking,
perhaps
what I want -
this is verily it.
And yet,
even after receiving all those,
her mind is not believing in 'I got everything'.
She is thinking hard,
maybe the amount of stuff needs to increase further -
I need more money,
I need more fame,
I cannot do without more power.
But that 'more' never ends.
Effectively, that she wants immortality -
this, one day, she must understand.
One day,
in a single instant -
pushing the heap of the savings of whole life
to one side
like garbage,
she will have to speak up:
Yenaaham Naamritaa Syaam Kimaham Tena Kuryaam!
But,
that Maitreyii spoke thus:
'What shall I do with things that shall not make me immortal',
what is the meaning of that utterance?
Is the meaning of
becoming immortal -
carrying this earthly body around
for all eternity?
Or,
even after death
somehow surviving
in another birth,
or
in another state?
That Maitreyii
did not want
immortality of the body,
and that
she had no qualms
regarding the
imperishability of the soul -
this is incontestable.
Then,
how had she
wanted to become immortal?
She spoke thus,
in this World
we are only
moving through one
to another -
no way
we are able to keep
staying at rest.
The objects of my mind move away,
my mind also moves away.
The object my mind holds on to -
when I leave that,
then with respect to that
my death occurs.
Like this,
we are always moving
through one death
to another -
this series of deaths -
it has no end.
And yet,
my mind
wants something
from which it does not have to move anymore,
getting which it can say,
'other than this I don't want anything anymore';
getting which there will not be any talk about parting anymore.
It is then, verily, that the clutch of death shall be completely avoided.
Who is such a person,
what is such a material -
with which I can say,
with this, verily, I received the repatriation of my whole life -
there is no need
of anything anymore!
It is verily therefore,
that
pushing all the properties and objects left by her husband aside,
Maitreyii spoke up,
'What shall I do with all these? I, verily, want Immortality.'
OK, so,
materials are not Immortality,
then what is Immortality!
We know what Immortality is.
It is not that
we did not get Its Taste at all
on this earth.
If we did not,
then
for that
our tears
wouldn't have welled up.
We are only
looking for that
in all our affairs in this World,
the reason for that is -
every other moment It touches us,
and passes by.
Within Death,
this Touch of Immortality -
where do we get?
Where our love resides.
It is verily in our love
that
we obtain the taste of the Infinite.
It is verily love
that
casting a shadow of the Infinite
within the Finite,
keeps the old, new;
it never accepts Death.
In this World,
within sundry objects -
seeing this hint of love
we receive the intimation of this Ultimate Substance
beyond Death -
that His Essence is the Essence of Love,
we realize that;
again,
when to receive this love completely
we discover
the true want of our inner nature,
then we can say - after pushing all materials away quite easily:
Yenaaham Naamritah Syaam Kimaham Tena Kuryaam.6
This utterance -
when this utterance
has come from a female mouth,
then
how clear,
how true,
how sweet
it has become.
Avoiding all thought-control processes, avoiding all argumentation
how easily
it has been spoken.
Oh my Lord,
I do not want
houses and riches at all,
I want love;
what kind of lament is this!
That simple lament of Maitreyii
had woken up,
taking the form of a prayer -
that kind of wonderful, complete prayer -
in this World -
has that kind of prayer
ever been heard
anywhere else?
The earnest prayer
of the heart of Whole Humanity
has received the form of an utterance
for all Eternity -
in that ardent voice
of this lady.
It is verily this prayer
that is the only prayer
for all of us,
and it is verily this prayer
that
in the great history of Humanity in this World
has been uttered
in every age and era.
Yenaaham Naamritaa Syaam Kimaham Tena Kuryaam -
speaking these words with force,
did that female Knower of Brahman immediately rise up with folded hands,
and turning her tearful face towards the sky, utter? -
Asato Maa Sadgamaya
Tamaso Maa Jyotirgamaya
Mrityormaamritam Gamaya.
Aaviraaviirma Edhi
Rudra Yatte Dakshinam Mukham
Tena Maam Paahi Nityam.7
In the Upanishads,
in male voice
we have obtained
many utterances
of
profound Realization,
but
in female voice
we have obtained
only this one
discerning prayer.
What we really want,
and yet what is lacking,
the intense feeling of that -
has revealed itself very easily
in a female heart laden with love. -
Oh Truth,
from all untruths
please take me within you;
for otherwise,
our Love8 remains starving!
Oh Light,
from deep darkness
please take me within you;
for otherwise,
our Love remains imprisoned!
Oh Immortality,
through relentless deaths
please take me within you;
for otherwise,
our Love -
like the lost wanderer
in an imminent night -
keeps wandering without any refuge!
Oh Appearance,
please appear to me;
only that much
will make
all my Love successful.
Aaviraaviirma Edhi -
oh Aavih,
oh Manifestation,
You are always Manifesting;
but You please,
for once,
be mine;
Manifest on behalf of me -
within me,
May Your Manifestation
be fulfilled.
Oh Rudra9,
oh Fearsome,
You Are the Unbearable Rudra, Manifesting in the Form of Separation
within the Darkness of Sin;
Yatte Dakshinam Mukham,
the Propitious and Beautiful Face of Yours,
the Face of Love of Yours,
please Show me That only -
Tena Maam Paahi Nityam,
Showing That Face,
please Protect me,
please Save me,
please Save me for Eternity -
That Manifestation of Love of Yours,
That Propitiousness,
verily,
is my Salvation for Eternity.
Oh Female Ascetic Maitreyii,
please Come,
in the midst of the people in this World -
afflicted with their own materials -
within their heart,
please Place Your two Blessed Feet today.
That Prayer for Immortality of Yours -
in Your Immortal, Sweet Voice -
please Utter in my heart
before You Leave.
For All Eternity,
how I shall remain Protected -
may my mind
not bear
even the
least trace of suspicion
regarding that.
2 Paush 1315
(December 16, 1908)
Bengali original: http://www.tagoreweb.in/Render/ShowContent.aspx?ct=Essays&bi=72EE92F5-BE50-4057-6E6E-0F7410664DA3&ti=72EE92F5-BE51-4957-DE6E-0F7410664DA3&ch=1